YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
