am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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