I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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