My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
