Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
