He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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