i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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