she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
