My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
