Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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