D3 body, D1 cock
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pants are for mortals
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
