I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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