atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
