I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
