We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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