Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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