just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
