when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
