Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
