im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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