No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well I just put wine in my tea
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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