just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
