I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
