chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
that may or may not have been my penis.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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