im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
