I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
