tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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