that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
