On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
