that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She's the barista slut.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
