if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
