I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
