she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
