Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
