My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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