I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
