I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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