You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
