saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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