Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
