My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So squirting runs in the family.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
