You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
