I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
