even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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