just come out here and I will go home with you...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
