So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
