yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
