He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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