Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
