I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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